


Dear Zane

by astudyinfic



Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: Between T&G and B&C, Emotional Hurt, Epistolary, Letters to Home, Love, M/M, Not Beta Read, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25217713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyinfic/pseuds/astudyinfic
Summary: Ty doesn't have a lot of time to think during deployment, but every chance he gets, he writes home.
Relationships: Zane Garrett/Ty Grady
Comments: 14
Kudos: 43





	Dear Zane

> Dear Zane,
> 
> We've arrived here. I can't say where here is but we're all here together and safe. Together except for you and Doc. It's weird not to have him here. Doc's been with us from the beginning and should be here now. We're all glad he isn't. ~~One less person we have to worry about not coming home.~~
> 
> I'm glad you aren't here either. Not that there would be any reason for you to be here, but I'm glad all the same. I'm going to worry about you enough being at home without me there to watch your six. Make sure that whoever they assign to you does just that. I'm coming home to you, Zane, and you need to be there waiting for me.
> 
> I miss you so much already. I've never had someone at home waiting for me before. Not someone I loved. Not someone like you. If anything, it will make me fight harder because I need to see you again. I want to be there with you now, in our bed or on the couch. Just home, and comfortable and safe
> 
> Stay safe, Zane. I'll write when I can.
> 
> I love you.
> 
> Ty

* * *

> Dear Zane,
> 
> They've split us up. We've been assigned to different groups, promoted to different positions. Something is weird about this but I can't figure out what. Why now? Why this way? When I figure it out....well, I don't know what I will do when I figure it out. But it's eating at me. Why bring a team like Sidewinder back only to break us up?
> 
> I miss you. I wish I was there making you do all my paperwork for me. You complain but we both know you love it.
> 
> We didn't have enough time together after New Orleans. When I get back, we're going somewhere. I don't care where or for how long. I just want to be with you and we can say all the things that still need to be said. Like how much I love you.
> 
> I will never tire of saying that.
> 
> Love you,
> 
> Ty

* * *

> Dear Zane,
> 
> We lost one today. Not one of Sidewinder, but one of the guys in my new unit. One minute he was laughing and talking, the next he was dead. I'm his commanding officer. I had to write the letter to his family. He was so young, Zane. He was so young and now he is gone.
> 
> I could be gone just like that. All it takes is one moment, one slip, and I would never see you again. I've been at war in one way or another since I was eighteen and nothing scares me more than never seeing you again. I WILL come home to you. I give you my word.
> 
> I hope for once, I can keep it.
> 
> I miss you so much.
> 
> Ty
> 
> * * *
> 
> Dear Zane,
> 
> O says he delivered the letter. I wish you knew that I wrote to you every day. I wish you could read all the words I'm not allowed to send to you. I wish you could see how much I am thinking about you. You're in my mind every second of every day, and I can't even tell you that.
> 
> Every night, I write you a letter. And then I burn it and scatter the ashes because there can be no trace, no connection between the two of us. Even sending that letter was dangerous but I couldn't help it. I love you so much it's painful and the thought that you might be struggling as much as I am...it kills me, Zane.
> 
> They're telling us it's only a few more weeks, that Sidewinder will be on our way back to the States. I still don't know why we're here. It all feels wrong but until I have reason to disobey, here is where I have to be.
> 
> I love you. I miss you. I'll see you soon.
> 
> Ty

* * *

> Dear Zane,
> 
> Marry me, Zane. Marry me the moment I'm back on US soil. I wish I had a ring or something to hold right now, some physical connection between us because the distance has never been farther.
> 
> I haven't seen Ozone or Digger in three weeks. O is more distant than he's ever been. I'm alone here, Zane. I'm alone and you're on the other side of the world, hoping and praying I'm coming home.
> 
> I am coming home. I will see you soon.
> 
> I love you.
> 
> Ty

* * *

> Dear Zane,
> 
> I have been in some terrible places, Zane. I've seen horrible things. I've been shot and stabbed and poisoned and tortured. Nothing has ever made me cry like I did last night. I know our conversation was only a few seconds but hearing your voice? Telling you we're finally coming home? I cried because I miss you so much and hearing your voice was everything to me. I cried from relief because, in three days, I will see you again.
> 
> So many things have changed since I left, Zane, but one thing never will.
> 
> I love you with all my heart, Lone Star.
> 
> Ty

* * *

When they got back to the row house, they were barely inside before Zane was on him. He held Ty like he was something fragile, something precious, and all those words that he'd been writing since he left bubbled up inside him. Ty needed to tell him everything but when Zane kissed him like that, it was easy to forget everything but the man he loved.

He'd tell him about his concerns - regarding the deployment, regarding Nick, regarding the timing of everything - but he would tell him later. Right now, Ty surrendered to the love Zane was kissing into his skin. "I could sleep for a week. I hope you aren't expecting anything."

"I am expecting to hold you until you wake up. Other than that, I don't need anything but you."

Ty kissed him, trying to distract both Zane and himself from the tears that burned in his eyes. They'd been through hell over the last few months from New Orleans to the deployment. The world could be falling down around them right now and all Ty would notice was the man in his arms. "Take me to bed, Zane."

They slept soundly, curled around each other so tight as if they would never let go. Ty hadn't been lying when he said he could sleep for a week but his mind wouldn't let him. He woke after a few hours, Zane's features softened as he slept on. Ty traced his fingers over the lines of his jaw, his nose, his lips. And he finally got to say the words that he'd been writing to him for months. "Dear Zane," he whispered into the darkened room. "I love you."

And this time, he got a response.

"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in about 10 minutes because I have too many feelings and it's the middle of the night and here we are.


End file.
